Photo Credit user mzacha

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on repeat, that every day is Groundhog Day, instead of some grand adventure like it used to be. The funny thing is I’m never entirely sure why. Sure some of it is fear, some perfectionism…but I have the feeling there is more to it than that. It’s not my fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue, or my herniated disc keeping me running the same day over and over again. Even when I start the day with a bang, all fired up and ready to rock…two hours or so later I’m deflated, and running the same patterns over and over again.

Clearly I have some massive self-work to do. Clearly I’m missing something. But the wondering can easily drive me mad. Circular thinking ftw. I know something is wrong, but I can’t pinpoint it, therefore I can’t fix it. Is it mindset? Is it a combination of illnesses? Am I burnt out? It would be easier if there was any one thing I could point to that seemed to set me off, but it doesn’t matter what the task at hand is…from playing video games to working on all the projects I really want to do to cleaning this place up.

I can think of probably a hundred reasons why, but none of them quite fit. Could be that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (Everything!), could be that I don’t feel confident in my work at times (perfectionism), could be anything. Or even everything. All I know is that I need to break the cycle, before it’s another decade down the road and I’m still on repeat.

What do you do when you feel you’re stuck on repeat?